Joie de Vivre: Children Can Teach Grown-Ups How to Live with Joy

I had an idyllic childhood growing up in a small town in North Dakota, nestled into the northeastern corner of the state, only a few miles from both Minnesota and Canada. Our back door opened onto a common space with no fences that was a grassy rectangle bordered by 15 homes. This was a backyard shared by about 60 other kids on our block who were all in a similar age group (it wasn’t called the Baby Boom for nothing). Everyone knew everyone in Grafton, and we ran in and out of neighbors’ homes without bothering to knock. 

Year-round, we walked to and from school and even walked back home for lunch on many days. In our free time we rode our bikes all around this community of about 3,500 people. During the long winter, we still walked everywhere and often sledded and skated too. We frequently put on our backpacks and rode our bikes into the countryside. Our favorite hangout was Munson’s Grove—a stand of forest with a small stream running through it. This was our domain, where we explored and imagined. We built treehouses, underground forts, and campfires in the wooded wonderland, our home away from home in nature. 

Even as ten-year-olds, we would hitchhike to nearby villages to meet other kids and explore. Every day we played some form of a neighborhood pickup game—kickball, baseball, basketball, football, hockey, billiards, bowling, tennis, badminton, volleyball, etc. We would fly kites, light off fireworks, hunt gophers with our BB guns, and pilfer crab apples, plums, and vegetables where and when they were available. We’d pedal over to the outdoor pool to swim, and whenever we could, we’d take a little rowboat out fishing. And nearly always we would be on our own without any adult supervision. Life was a grand adventure, where we were free to imagine and do almost anything, and we lived with free-wheeling, spontaneous camaraderie. Looking back now, it was miracle that we survived.   

Rediscovering Your Childhood Joy

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.” George Bernard Shaw

If we want to be happier and healthier, I believe we need to think and act more like we did when we were kids. I have always felt that the core part of my personality and identity hasn’t changed much since I was about seven years old. I bet if you think about it, you might feel the same. We can’t go back to being kids, but we can channel the playful and curious open-mindedness and active lifestyle that we had as children.

Joie de vivre is a French phrase that translates literally to the ”joy of living.” It refers to a cheerful enjoyment of life—a spirit of liveliness, zest, and exuberance in everyday moments. Someone with joie de vivre tends to embrace life with enthusiasm, appreciation, and delight, even in simple things. It’s not just about being happy—it’s about radiating a love for life. You might say a child running barefoot through the grass or someone dancing in their kitchen has that joie de vivre. 

I suspect you too have many fond memories of growing up, and maybe you wish you could recapture the joie de vivre you had as a child. Children have an innocent sense of wonder and playfulness that is correlated with naturally high levels of feel-good neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. When we were little, we instinctively focused on exploring and taking it all in, so we were less preoccupied with fear of failure or social comparison. We were happy just hanging around and having fun with our friends, free from adult concerns like jobs, mortgages, relationship struggles, and healthcare anxieties. Our parents usually protected us and provided our basic needs, freeing up mental bandwidth for curiosity and joy. 

Kids are also great at living more in the now, which is the essence of natural mindfulness. Children don’t ruminate on the past or catastrophize the future the way adults do. Young children have fewer ego concerns and are not yet deeply immersed in identity formation or social comparison. They’re less likely to measure themselves against others in terms of money, success, attractiveness, or status. 

Play is a core part of childhood, and unstructured play promotes joy, creativity, and social connection. Imagination and fantasy worlds are vivid and fulfilling for kids, which offers them escape and makes them feel empowered. Adults, unlike kids, often wrestle with regrets, grudges, and worries about future problems, past mistakes, and their own mortality.

Children, in contrast, are often blissfully unaware of existential realities. Life just is, and that’s enough. Modern adulthood, especially in individualistic and capitalist societies like the United States today, often brings overwork, financial worries, overstimulation, focus on materialistic goals, possessions that require our time and attention, and social isolation. Kids are generally more embedded in community, family rituals, play, curiosity, and daily social contact. 

The U-Curve of Happiness

You might be surprised to know that it’s not only the children and early prepubescent teens who tend to be happy, but also the folks over age 60. This is not to say that people aren’t happy in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. It simply means that however happy they are during these years, they tend not be quite as happy as they were in their childhood or in the years beyond 60.

Studies show that people often grow progressively less happy until they are about 45 years old, when their flagging life satisfaction and enjoyment reverses course and starts improving. In fact, people tend to be happiest of all when they get into their 60s and beyond … until their health fails. This is why it is so important to prioritize lifestyle habits that confer good health and find healthcare providers who are proactive about preventing diseases before they start. You can thoroughly enjoy your life into old age as long as you stay physically strong and mentally sharp. As my grandmother Alice used to say, “It’s a great life if you don’t weaken.”

“When you’re 20, you care deeply about what everyone thinks of you. When you’re 40, you stop caring so much about they think of you. When you’re 60, you realize that no one is thinking about you—they never were.”

This quote commonly is misattributed to Winston Churchill, and indeed it sounds like something the British Bulldog would have said but there’s no record of him ever actually saying it. But whoever said it, this notion probably explains part of the U-curve of happiness. 

People seem to be happier when they are out of the rat race—the contest to score higher, the dog-eat-dog fight to make more money, the competition to get the next promotion, the contest to have a bigger, more expensive home or apartment, the need to eat at a fancier restaurant and be seen in designer clothes, and the quest to have more likes on social media. Maybe it’s easier to be happy when we disengage from all the toxic comparison. Life does not have to be a zero-sum battle where if one person gains, the other must lose. Better to think of life as an ocean upon which we are all floating, where a rising tide lifts all boats. When we play nice and help those around us, we are all better off. 

The Joy Prescription: 10 Ways to Grow Younger This Year 

1. Dance Like Nobody’s Watching Dancing lifts your mood, sharpens your mind, strengthens your heart, and reconnects you with joy. No training required—just music and movement.

   
   

2. Create Something—Anything Paint, draw, build, sing, write, garden, cook, build, remodel, play a musical instrument. Creative play lowers stress and reactivates the childlike wonder that helps you feel fully alive.

   
   

3. Laugh Hard and Often Laughter heals. Watch a comedy, tell jokes, be silly. It boosts immunity, eases pain, brightens mood, helps us cope with stress, and brings people together.

   
   

4. Be Curious  Ask questions. Learn new things. Get to know new people. Curiosity keeps your brain young and your spirit open.                                               

   
   

5. Connect with Your Tribe Call an old friend. Make time for coffee dates or happy hour. Don’t turn down invitations to face-to-face get togethers. 

   
   

6. Get on the Ground  Sitting and moving on the floor keeps your joints flexible and your muscles strong. Play with your dog, stretch, go to yoga, tai chi, or Pilates classes, get on all fours to garden or pull weeds, or just sit cross-legged to read.

   
   

7. Sleep Like a Toddler Protect your bedtime. Adults need 7 to 9 hours of quality sleep to regulate mood, optimize energy, consolidate memory, and speed up your metabolism.

   
   

8. Say Yes to Silliness Play with your kids or grandkids. Tell a pun or joke. Wear fun clothes. Lightheartedness is a form of emotional intelligence.

   
   

9. Let Awe In As kids in Grafton we would lay in the cool grass and gaze at the night sky, looking for shooting stars, finding the constellations and sometimes even seeing the Northern Lights in late summer. Get out in nature. Seek moments that make you feel small but thankful in the best possible way. Every chance you get, catch the sunrise and marvel at the beauty of the moon. 

   
   

10. Go outside and play with your friends and don’t come home till dinner.  This was my mother’s mantra to her six kids when we were growing up.